The Wedding Blues

14th of June 2009, a special day in my life…this was not just another Sunday morning. This was the day her parents were coming home to talk about “The wedding”. I had butterflies in my stomach since morning. The previous day was all about cleaning, clean the rooms, the carpet, the walls, the paintings everything that was clean as well. I was thinking about what I am going to wear in the evening. It seemed like I am the bride and the guy is coming to meet me for the first time. I practiced a million times of what will I say when I introduce the two parties..uh..i mean parents. “Hello aunty..this is my mom and this is my dad”…no…”Good evening…”, “salaam-o-ailikum”, “Sastriyakaal…”, “Kemon ascho”….don't remember what stopped me trying out the various accents and styles.

Spoke to my parents and discussed everything from the “to-do” list to the “must avoid” list. I also made a list of things that shouldn't’t be bought up, something like “When he was 3, he used to love taking of the heads of all the dolls his cousins had”, now we really didn’t want them to think of me as a psycho who might take their daughters head off and then come after them.

The afternoon was spent in intense family discussions, like what date should be OK and when should the wedding be. The evening was approaching and the butterflies were enjoying the obnoxious gases in my tummy and fluttering like my intestine was some big flower. I spoke to her telling her to keep me informed of where they were and how much more time it would take them. The closer they got the more the anxiety, the nervousness was increasing. Finally….she called and said “we are almost there”. I almost jumped up on my chair as I someone just passed 15000 volts of current through me.
Before I knew it I was standing at the door and smiling, helping her bro park the car and hoping he doesn’t bang into some wall. Well, they came and I said “Hello Aunty, Hello Uncle, This is my mom and this is my dad….Attack!” well the “Attack” was said silently only for me to hear. She was looking very pretty, the damn butterflies started fluttering as if they were mating inside and multiplying at a very fast rate.

They settled down..well a bit of shuffling happened as well but then each one had taken their positions…Attack!...damn those butterflies!
It started with the usual talk “Traffic??? No”. If they did get traffic on the way that would have extended the conversation by another 10 mins “That’s become so regular these days and don’t know what will happen in the rains…”
Somewhere in between I was lost looking at how pretty she was looking but then her brother would come into the picture to pick up another kebab from the plate.

The talks went on and it was decided that the wedding would be a Bengali style wedding. And I would have to wear the topur (A conical shaped structure made using Plaster of Paris) and balance that all nite. I would also have to wear a DHOTI….. my first attempt to negotiate was ignored…the second went unheard…the third…..
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
“Samir..you cant get everything you way”….The mother-in-law had spoken and I felt like a criminal standing in the court where the judge had found me guilty and sentenced me to 3rd degree torture. I mustered all my courage and strength and replied “ok..aunty..i will wear it”. I am negotiating and trying to blackmail the daughter…this mystery shall be revealed when I post my wedding pictures.

The evening passed by and I think the obnoxious gas in my stomach finally killed the butterflies. 29th Jan 2010 was the date finalized after a week. Watch this space for more wedding blues….